Howdy, partners. Whoa Nelly, check out the headlights on this fine, little filly! She sure does get our jeans to stand up and take notice. Problem is, if you're like us, you don't talk so perdy when it comes to meetin' a lady. We wanna help, since y'all are kin. That's why we dug up a bunch of Old West slang terms that might come in handy when you try to wrangle up a down-home country lass. Bach: To bachelor it or keep house without a woman's touch. Pronounced and sometimes spelled batch. (Not to be confused with bitch, which is what you are if you enjoy cleaning your own place.) Bug Juice: Booze or firewater. (Perfect for getting a good ol' gal liquored up.) Fag: In cowboy lingo, to scram. (Which we always do when accidentally ending up in one of those liquor stores.) Man for Breakfast: A murdered dude lying in the street at sunup. (Or what we call an a.m. blowjob.) Pecker Pole: What a logger called a small tree or sapling. (What we call our huge redwood.) Butt Log: The biggest log from a given tree. (Also what a "good" girl lets us do whenever we want.) Unshucked: Cowboy lingo for naked. An unshucked pistol is one removed from its holster. Nothing gets us to unshuck our gun quicker than an unshucked lassie who knows her way around a pecker pole, loves to drink some bug juice and is eager to eat our "man for breakfast", followed by a hearty session of her taking and enjoying the butt log.